Like a chemist studying the structure of a complex organic molecule under the microscope, I began to minutely examine my thoughts and the underlying actions. Probing questions to myself, I realized all the different facades to my personality during this course of introspection, which is backed by science and bits of philosophy.
It's a well-known fact that your brain is always in a perpetual state of churning, processing, and emitting information. My fickle subconscious is no different. I believe that at the core, we all have two individuals within us: the outer self that we project to the people, which is a masquerade that's been molded to withstand the cruel cold world. Then, comes the insidious inner self. This is the real you who hides behind the illusion that has been fabricated over the years. A mastermind deceiver who controls how you process emotions, external events, and perceive oneself. Your best friend and the worst enemy.
This eternal dichotomous binding makes it harder to trust oneself in the face of adversity. When I look at my own reflection, I see the real unadulterated me who's staring right back, at times with a sly smirk and other times with disgust. Everyone has a creative outlet to process their emotions, be it writing, recording oneself, or just staring in the abyss while concurrently processing their feelings. It is at this time, the inner self comes out in a blissful synchronization to either empathize or reprimand you on your doing's.
As the famous saying goes - "A child who's not embraced by the village will burn it down to feel it's warmth," we are all flawed in our own freakish way. There's darkness in everyone; it's just how close you get to it and acknowledge it. Many try to hide and distance away from their dark demonic reflections. What they ignore is the fact that this sinister self is within them. Calm and composed. Lurking in the shadows. And, no matter how hard you try to detach from your darkness, it will haunt you until you accept and make peace with it.
My reflection is the only sane and equally insane aspect of my being. A guiding light and a demon that’s shackled to me forever. And, when I look at the mirror in the middle of the night, it’s right in there, gazing back at me.
