There were significant debates on the boon and bane of digitalization and the revolution it has created in our lives. One of the aspects of this digitalization is the way we look at our relationships, whether it is platonic or romantic, and the time we set aside for our much-needed solitude. From parents being in an endless loop of “forwarding messages and health tips” on messaging platforms such as WhatsApp and alike, to Gen Z binging on visual media and cute cat GIFs, it’s not a surprise to witness our regular engagement with digital products and services.
This bite-sized digital content consumption starts as a fun, relaxing activity that ultimately turns into a habit loop of numb scrolling and frantically tapping on the screen. This restlessness then, in turn, becomes a starting point for many mental health disorders such as sleep deficit, anxiety, stress, and in extreme cases, depression.
Being alone and loneliness are the polar opposite of one another. It’s been ingrained in us right from childhood that seeking solitude is something that’s not healthy. And, people who do prefer to love their own companionship are labeled as eccentric and weird. Much of this is attributed to the toxicity revolving around seeking solitude in this digitally connected world. But, the pressing questions are what is solitude, and why does it matter so much?
In simple terms, solitude is defined as being alone out of your own choice. And Surprisingly, it has so many benefits associated with it. To quote from the book “How to be alone” by Sara Maitland, the joys of solitude include Consciousness of the self, Attunement to Nature, Relationship with the Transcendent, a spike in creativity, and sense of freedom. Yet, more often than not, being alone is something most people dread. To understand the reason behind this, I conducted a mini Instagram survey which included the following questions -
“Why do you fear to be alone?”
“How much time do you allocate for solitude?”
“According to you, what is/are the most challenging aspect/s of being alone?”
Naturally, the answers were majorly divided into two categories: People who loved solitude and people who loathed it. The ones who loved their solitude usually took out around 1 hour or so to focus and reflect on things that mattered most to them. On the contrary, the ones who feared solitude had a more or less common reason associated with it — “Depressing and toxic thoughts surfacing up.” These souls are the ones who use technology as an escape mechanism and repress their inner demons. The moment they’re all by themselves, the negative thoughts show up and take over their mental state. By not being bored, they’re essentially repressing all their unaddressed inner issues and unprocessed emotions. Netflixing their way through the boredom and numbly scrolling through their anxieties.
So, what is the much-needed solution to this? Is there an organic way to break free from this habit loop of hell created by digitalization?
Well, Yes and No.
Yes, only when you’re willing to face your demons and stop escaping your way by using technology as a pretense. No, if otherwise; You can happily stop reading this if it’s a “No.” No pressure, I promise :)
Still, reading? Great! There are many ways in which one can be alone from locking oneself in the shower (not recommended) to waking up in the middle of the night and gazing at the ceiling. Yet, the critical component here is to be mindful of the time spent with oneself. And, what does mindfulness mean in this context? It’s observing one’s thoughts and emotions freely flowing without any judgments and letting oneself liberated from any preconceived notions.
To observe mindful solitude, some of the practical ways that I use are Staring at the sky alone, Journalling my repressed emotions, Exploring reverie, and Going on solo walks (without Spotify). However, everyone’s unique in their surprising ways; therefore, there might be other ways that one could explore, such as Reading a novel perhaps or doing something enjoyable alone. Another critical point that often gets overlooked by many is not being consistent with taking action. Consistency is a double-edged sword; it compounds and increases the satisfaction every time you repeat the action. The compounding effect is a super-power, and you can transition from being an amateur to an intermediate in no time.
In the end, it’s all about keeping oneself sane, especially in these difficult and trying times. Accept and acknowledge that your dislike and avoidance of solitude indicates some demons are haunting you, driven by fear, and seek refuge in your mind. Face these demons and take charge before they consume you. Altogether, Alice Koller said it best:
“Being solitary is being alone well: being alone luxuriously immersed in doings of your own choice, aware of the fullness of your presence rather than of the absence of others. Because solitude is an achievement.”
